Crappin' is Happenin'

There are many times in your marriage that aren't as flashy and fantazmo as the others.. some of these times may be fighting (if that's what you do) others may be running errands as a couple (see previous post) and sometimes your sewage backs up.. CUE THE CRAPPY. When you get married you only see and look forward to the high points.. the date nights, babies, and of course the looooovvveeee... Well all this is great until you have a moment in which you have to turn totally vulnerable and potentially puke in front of the other.. this my friend is when you have a sewer problem..
Last night while doing laundry I noticed a weird/ dog smell coming from where I was standing.. Now unlike Justin I would say this had to be the dogs.. (he would blame me.. yikes tmi) However, I knew different. So I looked around and noticed an issue coming from the floor.. and yes.. this issue needed tissue.. well, it already had it. Barf. So... when hubs got home, I broke the crappy news. He began the 2 day stressing process. He did everything in his power to fix it.. and was even elbow deep in the.. umm.. well... us. I would never have been as strong.. In fact, I almost puked 45 times while being the flashlight holder.. Nevertheless.. IT SUCKED.. He had to use a vacation day,, YIPPEE for him. and I got to endure it all. Lucky Sar. So to do the daily sum up.. Sometimes marriage can be CRAPPY. Enjoy your toilets.

PS: Baracuda by Heart was playing on the radio during the worse of the sewer snaking.. soooo.. as anyone would do in a time like this, I made up a new version.. (if you don't know the song, Youtube it, i'ts a good song.. )   oooooooooooooo smells like poooooopyyyyyy...

Errands

Every person on the planet hates running errands.. Most of the time you have to stop 10 different places.. and are inconvienced at lease twice during the experience.. Well one thing I have learned from marriage is that sometimes it is better to just try to run the errands solo. Men HATE stopping here and there, dealing with people, and they NEVER have the correct things they need to make the trip successful.. Being new to this area I haven't a clue where ANYTHING is.. so running errands is like trying to find a 2 liter of Coke, on the first of the month, at Walmart.. It just doesn't work.. So I have to rely on hubs to take me around in order to accomplish things.. UGggggggg.. One time in my life I wish I did drugs. Sooooo stressful! Everyone hates going to the courthouse to pay taxes etc.. Mainly because you are giving more money to the government and well they are usually not the most pleasant people.. Well after a lot of huffing, puffing, stomping, and yelling, the courthouse experience ended with only a few of HIS tears shed.. ;) The grocery store is a great place for him to realize that ingredients cost more than lean cuisines.. Who would have thought???
Well to sum up, take care of your business when the other is away... this is turn will save your sanity, and you can sneak up to taco bell and cram a burrito down your throat without being judged... You're welcome.

Addictive Personality..

When you get married, you really begin to realize things in your life that may have been a little crazy.. Not just because marriage points these things out.. but your husband will. I begin a lot of my posts/rants with the phrase, "I didn't realize these things about myself buttttt... " Well this is another one of those things.. When I was working at the Marshall Café (one of the best and greatest things I have ever done) I worked with a guy that was cleaning out his movie collection. I never really would watch movies I bought, so I really didn't ever buy any.. You know that you  watch movies on tv, that you had in your movie collection more than you would just pulling it out and watching it on cue....However, I was intrigued by one of his collections.. He had all FRIENDS seasons on dvd.. I knew I always loved the show when it was on tv.. but I had never bought tv show seasons of ANYTHING.. his price was so good I really couldn't resist.. Little did I know, this was going to begin a sickness... Since the day I purchased these dvds (Which I belive to be in 2009ish) I have probably watched the seasons 100 times through.. So, now I am sure you think I am exaggerating.. No my friend... this is not an exaggeration, and I would probably say it has been even more than that. I have become obsessed with the show.. At first I watched it when I was going to bed.. then I started watching through the day.. well then it came to cancelling cable because it was stupid paying for something I wasn't using, because I was watching FRIENDS all the time. Well 5 years later.. Has she changed? Is she sick of the show? Well to answer the questions in one blunt answer, NO!!! I am still so obsessed with it.. I love it.. It is by far the highlight of my day.. (aside from husband time ;) I look forward to being able to watch it everyday. Well, since I began with pointing out the things hubs thinks is weird.. you can use your process of elimination to realize this is the reason.. I am sorry.. I can not help it.. Yes I still laugh.. Yes I wish I was on the show.. Yes I think that it is the best show EVER! Well aside from all the great things I have to say about it.. for some reason Mr. doesn't think it is as great.. I thought he would love it! Well, newsflash friends.. he doesn't. He has made many comments about my odd obcessions.. That I will so sadly bullet point..

• Sarah, really, again?
• Do you not love anything else?
• Do you realize you have FRIENDS on in 2 different rooms? (I cant help it that it is on TV too)
• Do we have to watch it again?
• When will you tire of this?
• We can not watch this today... :(
• Lets find something different you can watch.
• Are you really laughing?
• How many times have you seen this episode? Pathetic.

Well, I know this is a problem.. It was brought up at the last Parent visit.. "They" have decided that I should not subject anyone to watching one show over and over.. So, needless to say, I can not watch it everyday when hubs is home..
But when its just Sarah here........ Bring it on FRIENDS.. your old friend is back!

PS: Yes I can quote it.. Yes I have ALL board games of the show that nobody can beat me at.. and YES if they ever need me to fill in on a reunion show.. I GOT THIS

In other news.. there is a plastic dog turd in one of our dresser drawers.
Ahhh.. Marriage.

I thought I was a hoarder.. until....

All of my friends and family have accused me of being a hoarder.. I may save a lot of things/ garbage, but I like to save memories.. If you know me very well, you know that I STILL have my baby blanket.. Of course his name is Blankster, and yes I do still drag him around everywhere.. So before you start judging me you should know that I keep him (yes he's a boy) around for a reason.. He smells like my mom's house.. No matter where I go or live, it still smells like mommy's casa.. And we all know that no matter what your mom's house smells like.. You LOVE that smell... Also it keeps me warm.. ok it may have 4000 holes in it, but for some reason the holes are just extra places to put your arms or head through and not imperfections.... So, I take advantage of the extra breathing room.. Also, Blankster is so multifunctional.. He is my napkin, tissue, scarf, hat, robe, skirt, tube top, dog carrier.. etc.. I know you are envisioning all of these uses right now.. So therefore, I will give you a second to absorb all of that.................................................. Ok, so now you are jealous.. I am sorry.. But this 26 year old blanket is MINE.. bwahahahaha.... Anyways.. wow, not what I was trying to get to.. Guess I was just trying to get you to love Blankster.. or grossed out,. Either way.. I am thankful for my little friend..... Ok, so the real reason for this post.. I save a lot of stuff that people find to be weird.. But today I found my husband's weird drawer of crap.. He may not have a 26 year old tissue or a stack of school IDs from middle school, but he did have some true gems.. and these aren't in any order.. .... *clears throat*

• a black light
• An old stuffed tiger toy that I am sure is from the 4th of July carnival in Ripley
• A very old box of salt water taffy
• A broken candle holder
• Sunglasses
• Stickers
• A CD Walkman
• Some kid of animal horn
• Sweat bands
• a small soccer ball air freshener.. in case you are wondering.. doesn't smell anymore..
• and not last and certainly not least (I am just sick of listing things...) a fake dog turd.

FANTASTIC! So to sum this up.. I have met my soulmate!! We can hoard together.. His stuff will go great with my old recorder, glamour shot pictures, and of course blankster!! We can throw all the junk inside of the blanket and tie it to a stick... We will be like the coolest couple walking down the street during the apocalypse.. A blanket full of stuffed animals and black lights. Ahhh.. Marriage. The best thing since fake dog crap. Have a hoarderific day. 'Merica.

You know you are a wife when....

I am going to start this post and continually add stuff as I discover my transition from Sarah to Wifey Sarah.. Hopefully in a year when I look back on this.. I will have learned something about myself.. or have decided that medication may be the best choice for me. :) 

 

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WIFE WHEN....

• You get a sharp pain in your chest.. you of course believe you are having a heart attack because of the amount of crap you just had to scrub from the toilet.. As you clutch your chest, the pain gets sharper.. After a minute of pain you realize the pain is not a heart attack, but a piece of a tortilla chip that had fallen in your sports bra from dinner... Sheww. close call.
• You automatically assume Shout needs to be used on every shirt and pair of underwear.
• You suddenly realize you no longer can sign up to be on the Bachelor.. uggg
• You wear read lipstick with your sweat pants, just because you wanna still feel a little attractive to yourself
• You judge every married couple you pass wondering if you are happier than them...
• You can easily tell your husband he doesn't read fast enough when you are sharing an article..
• Making dinner isn't a luxury its a requirement.
• You are notified of a dog turd... Aside from all other alternatives.
• "Umm you have a booger," is a normal daily conversation
• Bibbed overalls and a flannel is what he considers a, "Dress up outfit.." well okay maybe that is just hubs and mom's hubs.
• Okay.. last one leads me to,, holy crap have mom and I both found the same man with a 20 year age difference? They both love dumb jokes, both know more about the bible than us ( ok that's good) and both see no problem in a pair of dirty jeans and flannel shirt with a pocket.. The pocket for moms man holds his fork.. hubs pocket holds his cell.. Well at least its for half way normal reason.. lord have mercy.. we look alike and have the same taste in men.. I do love my dad and step dad.. oh holy father be with us.. We are twins.
  

  Enough said...









Hey Sarah, where is my.....?

Growing up with a little brother I somewhat have known what to expect by having a man in the house.. Jake was always depending on mom to do everything for him and wait on him hand n foot.. Well hubs doesn't expect me to do those things.. but I have taken it upon myself to do most things for him that I can.. I am always doing laundry, cleaning, and cleaning more after he gets home .;) He is very appreciative of the hard work I put in each day.. but I have figured out one thing that is getting on his nerves... I mentioned in an earlier post that I have some OCD.. I am not diagnosed, but the voices in my head that say to vacuum the floor 18 times a day has been able to persuade me that I have some issues.. Hubster wasn't aware of all these annoying lil things I do until I moved up here.. SURPRISE HUNNY, IMMA FREAKAZOID! :) Anyways.. sidetracked (shocking) This OCD causes me to get tired of seeing things in certain places everyday.. Therefore, I move these annoyances.. This is turn has caused a 24/7 scavenger hunt for hubs every day.. I guess I move everything everyday.. crappp.. I don't mean to.. but there is only so many times you can look at a rusty screwdriver on your new table runner.. shewwwww, I get stressed thinking about it..
So the new thing in our house is for me to constantly move stuff and for Justin to constantly look for its new location.. It usually ends with me saying.. sooo where was the last place it was.. he then points to the floor in the middle of the dining room.. hummm, I then smile, laugh in my head wondering why he seriously thought that those jeans were still in that place, and then I walk to the closet and find them nicely folded in the "jean spot." I have began calling him Hansel and Gretel.. he leaves a trail of clothes and tools behind him.. You will never find me looking for him that is for surrrre.. He makes it too easy...
Well.. I probably should go clean something... What is that hunny? What is it you are looking for? Oh... you cant find your toilet paper stash??? Hummm... now there is a head scratcher... *evil laugh*

She has Baggage

Every person beginning a new relationship begins realizing the baggage they are bringing to the table...Some of their crap is too much for some people to handle, while other stuff is just things you just have to get used to. Hubs didn't really have any kind of "baggage" per say.. Aside from his few annoying habits.. he came into this thing scott free.. Well.. wish I could say the same.... Seeeee.. I have some crazy maternal instincts.. I really need a little human to take care of to help release me of this.. but since I was older before I found my stud, I had to find a way for me to have something to baby without really having children.. Enter Jackson and Jasmine.. My fur babies. Jasmine happened after a really bad break up in college.. I knew I needed something to take care of and keep me company in my new found life.. She helped me through the tough times and was the best little thing I could have asked for.. Well on Jazzy's 5th birthday I thought it to be necessary that she get a good present.. I mean she had dealt with me for 5 years.. soo, instead of the normal beef cake and rawhides,,, I got her JAckson. haha. Well needless to say.. she would have much rather had the rawhides. But.. now they are besties, and I couldn't imagine life without both of them... However,... I bet Justin could. lol.
Having two dogs in the house has been the biggest adjustment for him.. they get a little rambunctious at times, have a mild odor, and like to play this game where they hide a turd so you find it when it has turned into rocks. I do believe he is getting more used to their little faces everyday.. but until they win his heart over like they did mine, we will just have a little more adjusting to do..

Men are Funny.

The Hubster is a one of a kind man....He is a door holder, compassionate, and sensitive about my feelings and his own. Sometimes I realize just how special he is when we go through our arguing days.. he always is the first to say he is sorry or to want to talk about stuff.. I would just sit in the corner and cry or use my infamous silent treatment trick (which is probably just a gift to him. ;) Either way I am very thankful for him....
 Once we got married I realized just how neat and prepared he is for things.. I have found his stockpiles.. He was a stock of batteries of all sizes, at least 50 cans of ravioli and spaghettios, at least 5 cases of bottled water, boxes and boxes of ammunition, and a plethora of toilet paper.. Now, I can guess what you are thinking......................... Talk about prepared or Finally, a place to go during the zombie apocalypse (which is why I think he started doing this) Either way it is nice to know we are somewhat prepared in case of emergencies.. HOWEVER.. as a woman, I of course have to gripe about it. LOL. bring on the bullet points Sarbear..

• Cans of ravioli? umm I pride myself of being a good cook. What if MTV cribs would show up here and check our stash.. We would so not be cool. Hmmm.. this reminds me, I need to put some caviar in the fridge (Is that where it goes?) Anywho, I guess I'll appreciate it someday.
• Batteries I do approve of.. This will come in handy for many things. Of course a person always needs batteries.. Especially when we have kids and buy some Barbie Dream House that has a working elevator.. Batteries are never included.. and I do not want to deprive my future daughter of a non-working elevator on Christmas morning.. Shoot, who am I kidding.. When I finally sprout kiddies, "Barbies" will be the fence  around the neighbors garden of robots.
• Bottled water.. hummm...another thing I can be excited about.. especially if there is ever a chemical spill in the water source of West Virginians.. (You will only get this is if you know about our awesome water companies around these parts..) Anyways.. gotta love a bottle of water. So kudos baby. 
• Ammunition? Well the only thing I know how to shoot is the Sh**. So guess those will come in handy for him more than me.. I could throw them at someone if things got tough..(I suck at sports though) but lemme tell you.. if we do have a zombie outbreak. We are super prepared.. (So if you are a robber and reading this.. keep away doll face.. we be packin' some heat up in this piece!)
• And my favorite of all TOILET PAPER!! This is the thing I am ready to get rid of so we can buy REAL toilet paper.. If you are a man, you know that you are gonna buy the cheapest tp out there. Men don't get how important it is to wipe with a nice plush paper.. However, in 5th grade I did a Science fair project on toilet paper,( I have a cool teacher mom) We called the project, "The Issue with Tissue" awesome huh?... Anyways we tested all the cheap and expensive butt papers to find the best one for your money.. We counted squares until we were blue in the face.. but in the end... we found out which one was best..... Wanna know? Is it killing you to know? Welllll... that was like forever ago.. so it is prob different now. butttttt......................................................................................................................... ...............Soft n Gentle.. Who would have thought.. Wow.. I totally got off subject. Okay.. To sum up. I use triple the amount of this stock pile paper in order to shrink the stash so I can get new stuff,, Soft tp.. Real tp... something to look forward to after you sit for a bit..

Okay, so after all that rambling.. I will sum it up, just in case you didn't wanna read all that crap.. Husband is prepared for EVERYTHING and my butt is raw. Have a Nice Day. :)

The infamous menu board

It will be fun while it lasts. :)

When I knew I was Taken.. ;)